Recently turning 40, these mile stones I like to take time to reflect back on my life and more than anything my blog has offered a makeshift therapy and I love to write. It is not easy to put oneself out there in the public eye and am not a “big blogger” by any stretch, but I am going to do my best to share my experience of being a child and maybe in some twisted way this will help someone. The following stories are my opinions and as I remember my childhood, but I am one fucked up person so you never know what is going to roll outta my mouth. <when someone say’s this, you know it’s going to be good. This is a very complex story to tell, it will be a challenge for me to being a very shitty writer. I feel my creative ideas and art have taken me further in mylife than anything, and my experiences are what has made me the person I am today.

Why did I decide to write this? I feel that many people are effected by another person’s actions and not sure how to deal with the feelings and I want to share my story. I am not ashamed but rather inspired by my experiences. So I decided to start writing my heart out! I already had about 600 pages of notes in journal I keep about my childhood this helps me understand my feelings, but lately I have  been in the desert with my creativity and not exactly sure how I wanted to tell my story, and the FUCKING light is on. Right now I am ass-hole and elbows! It’s good tobe back!

I was texting with my Father, it felt good to tell him how I feel. But when someone hurts you and wants to be back in your life, they need you to forgive and forget. I am not capable of that, instead what has happen to me is a reminder that triggers a protective response. When I confronted my father with his actions, my Father said that “he don’t remember”. Personally. I don’t think he has forgotten anything. None-the-less let them read.

So I hope you enjoy the story of me.

I was born in 1973 to Joy May Asher and Marvin Ray Asher now known as Rev. Ray Asher & Rev. Joy Asher currently Pastor Joy Whittington. Now divorced my father travels the road, and my mother Joy Whittington is remarried. Until recently I have not talked to my Mother or Father or brothers or anyone in my family in a very long time.

The estimated time frame out we have out of contact with my parents. Father 6-7 years, Mother 6-7 years, middle brother 10+ years, youngest brother 6-7 years. I also have a stretch before that of no contact with my family before this that is about 5-7 years-ish. And recently I have had a re-meeting with my Father, and my status with my Mother is I am 100% unwilling to ever talk to her ever again. Throughout my adult life I have been in contact with my family members in a very limited capacity

When someone says “I am not going to talk to you ever again” I don’t think anyone truly understands what that really means. What I think it means when someone says this, is that person wants control of their life back. This becomes very curious when this is your immediate family. I consider myself to be a strong person, a very strong person, but no man is a island. I think like most people, everyone needs to connect with their family and getting older I was feeling this way too. People like to say, whatever don’t kill you makes you stronger, well.. this may kill me, and that’s ok too.

Let’s meet the sperm donors!

My father Marvin Ray Asher a Vietnam Vet and Pastor, spent about 30 years working for the government.

My mother Joy May Asher aka Joy Whittington and known as Joy Gameson is a home maker and Pastor, but I like to think of her as the “worlds worst gold digger.”

I am the oldest of 3 brothers, who will remain nameless for their protection. Each of us have dealt with our childhoods in our own way.

My opinion on Christianity is a very slanted. I think it is fun to tell you about this before I dive into the story, mostly so that you can get a understanding how I am telling my story. I think Christians and Evangelicals are a special kind of criminal piece of shit. Anyone that is willing to prey on people in the “Name of God” is very hard for me to stomach. And yes, in my opinion my parents fall directly into this. Oh, remarkably I am feeling better already. More Coming Soon.