The challenge… I was clutched! [Colorado DMV fees]

So some days you got it, and some days no matter what has been going on in your personal life, you have to set that aside and dig deep, real deep… like the show, “Who’s Line is it Anyways?”, where the points don’t matter, hardcore. Well, today the points didn’t matter.

The week started out positive…made a good contact, we had lunch, chatted, and I came away feeling very positive and re-energized, not to mention, the food was not to bad either. So far so good until a passing thought came to my mind regarding my car registration…The thought was, “Damn I wonder if my car registration would be expiring soon.” So sure enough, when I went out to check my license plates, wouldn’t you know it…they expired on 10/09, what untimely luck. So now my positive week started turning sour.

To start out my adventure let me first say, as must of you that know and for those who don’t, I  had moved to another state recently.  Since we had moved we have been trying to recover financially, it has been a slow go at it, my business has been pretty much dead due to the move and time of the year we are coming to. Therefore, like anyone else in this bad economy…we are trying to push through! However, as I started out in my blog this week started off with a positive mark due to the jump start in my business with this new contact I made. Being excited I was thinking Ahhh…money, finally. My excitement was shattered when that sour twist of reality came to mind about my car registration.

And now my story begins, of course, I don’t have to tell all you how difficult the DMV’s can be. So I know you will relate when I tell  how ridiculous my experience was. It starts out with a phone call to the DMV, I was trying to get an estimate of what it would cost me to register my car where I live because, their website did not have an estimation calculator. After being on hold for a long time and having to listen to their recordings repeatedly, a lady finally comes on the line. I proceeded to ask her for a quote and she tells me “Sir we don’t give estimates over the phone you will need to go to our website and it is there you can get an estimation by using our estimation calculator.” I said to her your joking right and she replied no sir I am not. I told her if you had an estimator on your web I wouldn’t be calling you. She then said sarcastically sir you must go to the our website and use the estimator because we don’t give estimations over the phone. I yelled, What…what the hell, aren’t you listening!! I told I looked all over the website ad there isn’t one, that is why I am calling you and all I get for a response is… I am sorry sir we don’t give estimation over the phone. Needless to say, the experience was a joke, how do you register a vehicle without any type of posted documentation, estimations, fees, ballpark figures, something for out state registrations. Here I have out of state license plates I am trying to get a figure on what it would cost me since the DMV here doesn’t take Debit Cards or Credit Cards.  The phone approach didn’t work I decide navigate to the even more ridiculous Colorado Smog Service or as Colorado refers to it Clean Air Colorado to only found out that the involvement was more detailed then I thought from fees to processing. They just don’t run a smog test which runs against your VIN Number anyways, they also charge you another fee to do another background check on your VIN Number to ensure it is your car your smogging. What a junk fee grabbing society we live in, what is this world coming to!?…

Update to this story: I later find out that, this is normal. Colorado in fact will give you no pricing info over the phone or on the website for the registration of your vehicle, just bring a suitcase full of money and hope for the best.

After finding at out what I needed in the way of cash I wasn’t able to get the smog done right then because I had other things I needed to get done and along my way I planned to suck it up and let them stick me or the extra fees and stop in at the bank and go back. So things have been jumping like I said, I had been out running around town trying to make a living, meeting with people, dropping off the kids in the foot and a half of snow, that just fell on Denver. I mean my customers don’t give a shit if the Colorado DMV is just pain being an ass, the show must go on! Now mind you my tags had been expired about 5 days when I figured out I needed to register my car. The ironic thing is, my wife points out that there is another family in our complex with Nevada plates that have been expired since 6/07 and apparently they are in no hurry to get their plates changed and here I am freaking out over 5 days of expiration. What wrong with this picture…I am guess I am a freak of nature…I mean 5 days late, not the end of the world…. Know what I mean?

So after justifying myself I proceed on with my day. I am driving down the road, with expired tags of course and wouldn’t you know it a cop pulls me over. Why me, right, I mean, my tags have been expired 5 days? I had been dealing with this dilemma all day! Just to tell you up front, I am not really a fan of cops…I just don’t get the point, we should be able to just bribe them, why not? At least you wouldn’t see so many broke people being pulled over, what are they going to get off a dude in a 86 Buick? Seven bucks in cash, two bucks in change from the ash tray and a roach? Lol, most people don’t really think about stuff like this, but if you give some guy that makes $12-13 bucks an hour a $400.00 dollar ticket, you didn’t just ruin his day, you more than likely screwed up him for the whole month, if your lucky, or if he’s lucky rather… I am the first one to say, that cops are helpful when someone goes bonkers in a shopping mall and starts killing people. We need a volunteer to run in and get that stupid f&^$er, but some of these cops, forget that it says on the side of the patrol car, “serve and protect.” Now a days you got to worry if they are going accidentally shoot you in the back, then  try to cover it up, so they don’t end up going to jail. How sick is that? Cops…these guys think they are some kind of under-paid Super Hero, go out and fight crime on a janitors salary, no way. The bad news is, in real life there is no cape crusader, the good guy don’t always win, I mean never wins, courts don’t work and in real life the good guys dies and its a tragedy and what do we do, we make memorial funds…sorry for the cop rant. I could go on and on…hmmm…. I feel another blog coming on just own my views alone. Anyways,  I couldn’t help myself.

Back to being pulled over, I knew I needed something, but I didn’t need this ticket! The run of the mill excuse, dog ate my homework, wasn’t going to fly, he was walking up to the car, and I am racking my brain for something good… I decide to tell him I had the Swing Flu…right? Blame it on the Swine Flu, why not… as the cop was walking up to the car I started to  rub my eyes with my fist and twisted them and tried to make them red and watery. When he came to my window he asked for my license. So I started fumbling for my wallet coughing on my hands, being as nasty as possible, doing everything in short of licking my license,  he takes a quick look, gives me my license and tells me to slow down. What luck was that…fate was no my side, or he just didn’t want to get what I “supposedly” had… so of course I didn’t hesitate I went right to the DMV.

As I walk in the door to the DMV, this the guy blurts out “Can I help you?” I felt like saying, “Yah, shut up and sell me some plates…double cheese burgers are on sale across the street for .99- cents and hurry!” But I wussed -out, and said “I need to get plates for  my car.” You know what this guy said? “What kind?” And I said, “The plates you normally get for the front and back, you know…the ones that go on all the cars?” Unreal, sometimes you just go to shake your head in bewilderment. Here I go getting off track again, but it’s a joke, funny how life works sometimes, however, I did get my car registered and life is back to what I call normalcy in my world. Though, I can’t help imagining how fascinating it would be just to kick back and watch my life events…just can’t help chuckling right now…oh well! In closing, when smogging your car there will be redundant fees and with the Colorado DMV, as it turns out, does not give estimates for your registration cost over the phone. They don’t post anything that will even give you any type of assistance in the way cost or ball park figures, nothing, not even throwing you a bone; absolutely no hints in the costs of what could be coming. Obviously registration cost are not going to be in the millions or even in the thousands.  But, it would be nice to know where you somewhat stand before walking into to the Colorado DMV and it sticker shock. Who knows… it is just me? How could you know what to expect with things just so open-ended.