I’m moving to California!

I love California, more than anything in the world. So I thought I would list the reasons California is so great. I am a surfer, that had to leave my home, because I am not a gangster rapper! Now I can only make funny jokes. Looking at California from afar, I can’t understand why anyone would live there.

We are moving to California!

  • Because I love – Earth quakes. Nothing like a stiff jolt in the morning to get you moving.
  • Because I love – Sitting in traffic, 7 days of this shit I would be ready to kill myself. But with all the people leaving California; I have heard the 91 freeway has been a little better! Good news for me.
  • Because I love – Getting horse fucked with civil fines. (I know this sounds strong at first glance, but you should see the fines read more. To be honest, I was leaning more towards elephant fucked. You decide.
  • Because I love – Meg Whitman (She is just great… hu? She probably could single handedly save California with the amount of money she is spending on her campaign for governor. I guess eBay was better than we thought. Maybe California should sell her the governorship? Just a crazy thought – She is just what California needs… I could just see her saying “Hey guys, if it fails we can sell it on Fee-Bay!”)
  • Because I love – Illegals (Yes, fuck me… I’m a raciest too. My back-up plan here is Arizona, some vacancy are expected soon…)
  • Because I love – Taxes

And most of all, because if all else fails, I can find a minimum-wage job with the state!

…and sometimes I still think, it might still be worth it!