Lately I’ve been having a hard time concentrating, focusing and relaxing. Every time I start a project, I get sidetracked and follow a path away from my goal of the moment. I know this isn’t uncommon in ordinary adult human beings but the extreme end of it is a medical condition referred to as adult attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (AADHD). Reading a number of websites on the topic has made me wonder if I’m a candidate for this condition. I’m also acutely aware of the self fulfilling prophecy aspect of this. People can give themselves medical conditions by thinking and believing that they have it. Part of me wants to say that this is just a bunch of crap – the other part makes me wonder if there’s some great meds out there. Would it be a condition that could get you a medical marijuana card in a state that offers such a thing ie. Washington or Montana (but not Idaho?) Is there a connection there with Mormonism?
The fact that I can’t coherently write an article about AADHD is proof that I might have it. Is rambling a symptom of the disorder? According to wikipedia, which is always true since it’s an encyclopedia, incessant talking is a symptom of this neurobehavioral developmental disorder.
Really we’re just talking about “monkey mind.” Perhaps it’s a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes it or maybe it’s just the nature of being unsettled that creates the chemical imbalance. I also wonder if diagnosing it as a bona fide disorder relieves the social stigma of poor behavior resulting from the monkey mind. I Imagine many apologies are made for individuals with Tourette syndrom, “Sorry, my child says ass repeatedly because he has a disease.” “Sorry, I didn’t hear a word you just said Honey because of my AADHD.” Just like depression and seasonal affective disorder (SAD), I wonder if it’s really just a bunch of made up stuff to explain various states of malaise or the condition where someone just can’t accept things the way they are.
I still don’t know but I definitely feel better getting it off my chest. Wait, what was I doing? I can’t remember – forgot my damn alzheimer’s medication again.