Again I offer more useless dating advice to men looking for something creative to their sex lives. If you been having a-bit of a problem getting your chick to cum while having sex I think this one of my better tips, and it’s really simple. So when you are getting-it-on with a chick, tell her “cum on my c*&k baby” and call me crazy but this works! I know many of you are going bull shit, and I fully understand, i’m just throwing this out there seems to be something about verbalizing it. You need to also understand this is not going to work if just blurt-out “cum on my c*&k” but if your licking her ear and just pounding the shit out of her, just whisper in her ear, “cum all over my c*&K baby… this is very effective. you gotta try it!!
Scott talks about love, and what he thinks the women are into these days.
A job I had recently was working with a guy that would buy harvested email contacts for singles looking on Craigslist. I would get paid $1.75 for every good email lead and $3.00 of every phone number I could produce. This is one of my highest earning adcopy producers. This one produced over 80,000 leads
Thank you for reading my post… before you start to read my post, a reader from my last creative dating post commented to me – “it might help to point out that I make a living as a creative writer.” Now that I have moved to a small town in Insert town here, this mightbe even more of an issue. Because even more people may not get my brand of humor. Other feedback that I have received, is that women are intimated to respond to posting like this. But more than anything I am looking to meet new friends and if something amazing happens that would be very cool. I have a really unique creative personality, I am a very low pressure guy, I too am looking for someone special. Thanks for taking the time to read. enjoy my posting
Here I go again with another dating fucking sucks post again…
I am now convinced every sick-mutherfucker on earth surfs the craigslist personals, I was hanging at a friends house and went to Craigslist on her computer (*not really being nosy) and I could see that the singles area on Craigslist link has been visited. Then it hit me!!! Everyone in the world is a sick-fucker just like myself. Craigslist is how everyone meets, but no-one ever wants to admit-it, this is so fucking gross. By posting ourselves online we have all been reduced to lawn equipment.
I know normal people read these online dating listings also… Because I was normal once, I can remember about 15 years ago reading the newspaper at Mc Donald’s, while I am eating my Mc Pile of shit. I love the classified section, I’m not really sure what it is. But being a little older everything has changed, forget the stupid sports.I personally love to read the used cars, free pets, rideshare, missed connections… but my point is, even before abruptly becoming single again, I would read the singles thread on craigslist, what a fascinating category… Someone throwing caution to the wind, post a ad in hopes of landing a date, it seems so crazy when you think about it. But what is sad, from my limited dating experience it seems the older we get the less likely we are to really find someone normal.
The response I am trying to trigger is the “normal one” that is – perhaps a normal person surfing this and think to herself, …”is this fucking shit even real?” No, we have reduced ourselves to lawn equipment… 🙂
So how would I describe myself? Mr toad’s wild ride – white, 6”4’, fit, late 30’s I don’t fuck on the first night, that would be considered risky behavior. If my post shocks you, run away! I don’t want your acceptance, I want someone looking for something special, someone looking to uncover a true experience, someone unique. At first you might find I am hard to talk to, I am closed off and very shy when you first meet me.
Other fun-Facts about myself
- I have all my teeth
- good head of hair
- I have blue eyes
- I am tall
- I am here in Insert town here, taking care of my 88 year old grandma
- I dont own a TV, but I have 4 computers
- I have written 3 books
- I love love love animals and plants
- you should not feed me milk
- I don’t play video games
- I piss on the seat like most guys
- I don’t like horror movies, whadda fake bull shit
- I love to hold hands
- I like to be ran at least an hour a day
- I have not had a job in 15 years
- I have a criminal history <-I’m proud of that
- I am 40
- My kids are over 18
- I might cook you dinner, have some coffee, stay up till 4 am, and sleep all day.
- I have 13 years of education, over and above high school.
- I don’t drink, love a little pot
- *se habla espanol, but I am not Mexican
- I love to take baths, because I get dizzy when I jerk-off standing up
- AND yes! I really make a living as a semi-well known writer, I’m not rich, but I am rich in spirit.
*The picture thing is so uncomfortable, now that I have moved to this small town in Insert town here, I can’t post a photo of myself because not only am I afraid of being recognized on the street, I am worried my friends will find it on craigslist and post my dating ad on facebook, then everyone will know I too am looking for new lawn equipment and this is already humiliating enough.
Just a fun fact: it seems nurses like to use the CL personal service.
If you don’t send a picture of yourself, I will not reply. If you don’t want to send a picture first, then get yourown posting. And besides, if you send me an email trying to bait me into talking to you without a pic, then that would mean you are getting what you want and I can’t allow that to happen. 🙂 If you have a comment, rude or nice I will always politely respond. Thank you for reading and have a safe journey in life
Make sure to get your full head in-front of the shotgun.. thank you for calling!
Craigslist recently implemented changes that prohibited you from directly getting the email address from a response.
Being a father an witnessing first-hand my son growing up was like reliving high school all over again. I love the coming of age stories like American Pie, 16 Candles in the 80s, Weird Science. So he is my article for giving a girl oral-sex for the first time for a high school boys.
I know things may seem a little insane at 16 and being in high school, you hormones are going freaking bananas. Every girl you see has you shifting in your pants. Don’t worry about it I’ve been in your situation before and it’s all fine, there’s nothing wrong with you dude.
You have to learn how to find a way to make that big score! How can you do that? Well dude, I’m here to let you know the secret that will get you to third base and get your rocks off to a grand slam. Just follow my tips and you will be on the road to player mode in no time. I guarantee that you will be in between girl’s legs in no time.
Next time you’re on a date with that “special girl” and you find yourself lucky enough to be alone together, this is the chance you’ve been waiting on! Take it!! After all the kissing and playing your doing with her she surely will be ready but, maybe not ready enough to get in her pants just yet. Dude don’t freak out! And don’t seem upset, you’ve got to be patient. There are different ways to play. You may not get laid this time but you will surely have her pants soaked from what you are about to do to her. Just like any guy likes getting head, girls like to be licked. This is where you show her your talents. Whether or not you have done this before, she will enjoy every bit having her tender parts tickled with your tongue.
How can you get to do that to her? Well, I am Getting to that part! As you are kissing her move on over to her neck, start giving her kisses and sucking on her neck. Not too hard dude, marks on her body are not sexy! You are trying to get her turned on, not make her think that you’re a psychotic vampire.
As you continue working on her neck, gently and smoothly start rubbing down on her leg slowly. If you’re doing this right you will notice that not only she will not say anything or stop you, her legs will open up giving you access to the goods. Don’t get all excited which I’m pretty sure by this time you probably harder than a Chinese word mathematical problem but don’t lose it dude, keep focused you are not there yet! You may feel like it but, you’re not there little dude, keep it in your pants for now!
Work your hand slowly down her leg than slowly move under her skirt, if she has pants on then the scenario will be different you would be going down her pants. Let’s just say you make it to the land down under. Work your way to getting her worked up enough, that she will want to get her out of her skirt or pants. Don’t pull your dick out and go in for the kill dude don’t be a dick! You got the power to unleash the secret!! This is it!!
Now follow these instructions to the tee and you will do great at eating her out! Kiss and lick between her thighs and move your way up gently dude, if you rush you will screw it up. If you do, you will possibly have to settle with the usual routine lotion and Rosie palm, which I’m sure you very acquainted with.
When you get the spot the slit of joy as I call it, start moving your tongue up and down it slowly. She might squirm a little and you will hear her gasping for air with a slow moan, this means you are doing it right don’t stop. Mix it up a little. At this point you will do it as if you are a professional, kiss and suck on her sweet slit (clit), go around in circles and change the speed of your tongue action. Keep it going and she will start to howl like a beagle, open her legs wider. Try licking sideways at this point and dude she will be pulling and grabbing your fucking hair, trying to damn near shove you in her! She loves you at this point and she cannot contain herself anymore. She will cum everywhere. Her clit is so sensitive and she is exploding. Don’t worry, many chicks are not able to cum like a dude can, so don’t worry about a mess.
Now this is where it gets crucial for you and your little friend in your pants. You will have to do something she or you do not expect of doing. Move back up her body kissing her tummy and chest until you make it to her lips. It is up to the two of you, what takes place after that. If you hold off on the sex, she will be begging you next time you are on a date and may even surprise you with some extra- curricular fun. She will also tell all her friends how amazing you are and trust me in high school that means more chicks for you! Prepare yourself to have panties dropped by as many chicks in high school that your dick can handle and your boring senseless days of you and Rosy palm will be over! And that dude, is the secret to scoring chicks and licking her slit!
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Being married for over 15 years – I don’t beat-around the bush, so to speak… 😉 But it’s one thing I’ve learned – Valentines is always hot and steamy, so I thought I would give you a hot and steamy Valentines day idea that is sure to be a hit. Everyone should buckle up for this one.
As always I love to bring you what I think are the best ideas on the web. Most of you that really know me already know I have to take a shot at writing the best Valentines day post ever. 🙂 So here is my highly NC-17 Valentines Day idea. In very good humor, but in very poor taste.
If you are looking to steam things up for this Valentines Day, I got just the thing for you. So I call this idea the “Say hello to my big fucking friend.” How this goes is, you are going to need a bottle of Jagermeister, the bigger the better. You give your girlfriend or wife about 3 shots right off the bat. After doing some shots and maybe little dinner take her into the bedroom. There you will have some candles lit, some rose pedals on the bed and some nice music playing in the background. It is important to set the mood. Also don’t forget to slip the friend under the pillow before hand, all ready to go. Don’t be trying to bust this open on the spot. You’ve got to be sly about it. With 3 nice size shots in her, you should be good to go. So when it gets nice and steamy slip your “friend” in play. But just in case something backfires, bring the bottle of Jager to bed with you, and have her take some swigs from the bottle, Girls Gone Wild style, while you are talking her panties off. Make sure to take it easy Killer, too much Jager and you’ll be humping your fist. You want her tipsy, not DOA, whoa!
Please Note: make sure that when picking out a “Friend” make sure you use some discretion. If your spouse or girl friend goes to church every week and you bring home a four foot Long-Duck-Dong you are likely to be thrown out of the house. So for this application, might I suggest something small, with some triple a batteries. It is important to have your wife or girl friends sexual appetite in mind.
I’m 34 years old and still single. Most of my friends are married with kids. The most frequently asked question I get is, “When are you getting married?” They seem to think that for some reason, my life is not complete. The truth is, I’m perfectly happy. I live the life most people dream about. I’m an entrepreneur. I travel the world. I have great relationships. Most of all, I have my liberty. I do what I want, when I want. I have friends who are happy with their marriages and some that break up or end in divorces.
Relationships take work. My parents got married when my mom was just 18 years old and got pregnant with me when she was 19. By the time I was in the third grade, they got a divorce. My mom always said that “When I was your age, I was a single parent, raising two teenagers.” It’s hard for me to even imagine having two teenagers and being a single parent at 34.
I decided to research the Ingredients for a Successful Relationship. If people simply applied these ingredients in their relationships, the divorce rate is our country will drop significantly. According to Dr. Pat Allen, author of Getting to “I Do”, there are ten secrets for getting and keeping the right person:
1. Choose to Be Respected or Cherished – You’ve got to know who you are before you can exchange what you’ve got. In every relationship, there can be only one respected leader and one cherished follower, at least in the beginning until a commitment has been negotiated. Choose whether you want to be the giving/male or the receiving/female, regardless of your anatomy. Whatever you choose, have integrity.
2. Pay Attention to Your Feelings – Always pay attention to our feelings. Avoid what you don’t want. Feminine energy must feel good to do good. (Masculine energy must do good to feel good.) Don’t rationalize away negative feelings, no matter who tells you to. If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it. Honor your body.
3. Flirt to Attract – If you want to “attract” a male, you must be “seen” as a sex object. Take care of your body, dress sensuously, fix your hair and make up, go where men are, catch “his” eye and signal your interest and availability. (The Five-Second Flirt Technique) so he won’t be afraid to approach you. Smile, don’t talk. If you speak first, you’re the better man.
4. You Need Chemistry, Compatibility, and Communication – You need all three, but they don’t have to be perfect. Chemistry is a body-to-body reaction. Enjoy it, but don’t consummate too soon. Communicate first to investigate compatibility, in order to s separate your fantasy projection from reality. He could be crazy, married, or a “little boy.” Once the bodies take over, it’s hard to negotiate compatibility or even learn to communicate.
5. Have No Sex Without Commitment – Most females become bonded to the male with whom they have a sexual relationship, so unless you’re “man” enough for casual sex, negotiate the commitment before making love. Find out in advance whether he’ll pay the “entrance fee,” which is exclusivity, continuity, and longevity. Remember, men fall in love with your virtue, not your body.
6. Set Aside Fifteen Minutes a Day to Talk – Every day, each of you should do “Amigo Talk, “ asking the other what he or she thinks and feels about things that matter to you. Learn how to help the other to feel better and to achieve his or her goals. Then each of you should try to execute your tasks. When a woman’s feelings are cherished, she feels respected.
7. Renegotiate Terms Regularly After Six Months – The first three months are the Perfect Phase, the next three the Imperfect Phase. At six months you start negotiating time, space, play, and money, and a t nine months, the Commitment period, you begin planning for the future. You must renegotiate regularly to accommodate changes and to give both partners the variety of switching roles.
8. Keep All Agreements – The only way you know you love yourself and others is by keeping agreements you are willing to make and keep. Respect and cherish each other daily. Don’t give up unless he makes you sick or dives you crazy. Nobody is perfect. If he’s 51%, keep him.
9. Create a Romantic Memory Bank – A romantic memory is one in which the male gives pleasure to you, and you give pleasure back to him (but always a little less than you get). When the male is giving, protecting, and cherishing, he is penetrating your defenses so you can surrender to the pleasure of the relationship. You must never ask a man for more, better, or different love, so pick a male who gives the way you like to receive.
10. Wait at Least a Year to Marry – You don’t know a person until you’ve been through four seasons with him. You must each have accepted the other’s foibles and frailties. The male must know that he thinks and ask for what he wants. The female must know what she feels and what she doesn’t want and say no to anything unethical or immoral. You have negotiated time, space, money, and play. If you must marry or sign papers sooner than a year, make sure you seek legal counsel first.
What does a perfect relationship look like to me? I want to be respected, accepted, loved, and cherished. I want him to bring out the best in me. No criticisms, no judgment. Just plain unconditional love.
Are you ready to create the relationship of your dreams? I know I am!